Expectations. We all have them. We expect someone to do something. We expect something from someone. It’s okay to have them but it’s not okay to impose them on other people. This is unfair and sometimes, very cruel. Of course we’d never admit we impose expectations on others but a sure way to know if we do is when we experience frustration and disappointment when they don’t comply.
Expectations stem from our own needs. Period. It has nothing to do with anyone else fulfilling them or not fulfilling them. Our expectations come from our fears (or insecurities) within us. And overtime, we adopted an unhealthy pattern of looking to others to help us cope with our fears. This pattern of thinking is not only self-destructive but will also destroy relationships. Our expectations will suppress their freedom of speech and choice. They’ll comply to our demands out of fear, and not out of love.
If you’re in this place now, it’s time to do some soul searching. Ask yourself some hard questions: Why do I feel like I have to do this? Why do I feel like they have to do this with me? Why is this important to me? What would happen if I didn’t do it? What am I afraid of? It’s unrealistic to expect others to meet your needs. All you can do is share your need and release any obligation of meeting them. It’s okay to request but never demand. But you have to accept the fact that the answer may be a ‘No’.
May we look for answers within first before we expect it from others.
Be happy now – not when you get the promotion or find the love of your life. Be happy now, for our lives are made up of moments. And each moment, we’re given a choice – we can choose to be happy or unhappy. Yes, even despite what has happened to us, what we’re going through, and even what may happen to us. Every time, we have a choice. Choose to be happy. It’s a powerful choice because we’re choosing the outcome of the situation rather than letting the situation determine the outcome of our lives. And when we choose to be happy, we’ll find freedom – freedom from critics, failures, and fears. And ultimately this happiness will give us the freedom to be who we’re meant to be and we’ll excitedly embrace each moment that comes our way.
Be happy with who you are, as flawed as you think you are. Be happy with where you’re at, for this moment will never come again. Be happy with what you have, for it’s in your wants that creates unhappiness.
Be happy now. Not tomorrow. Not when. Not later. But now.
Dan DiFelice’s short video, Finished, is powerful, beautiful, and captivating. Wherever you are in life right now and whatever battle you’re fighting – I hope you find hope, courage, and new-found strength to carry on. May these truthful words resonate deep within and propel you forward to finish, and to finish well.
In this game of life, I guarantee we’ll win some and we’ll painfully lose some. And when the latter happens, we’ll undoubtedly question our abilities and second-guess our destiny. The only thing that will count is going from one failure to another without losing our hope or enthusiasm. I know this won’t be easy to practice but in order to succeed in life we must keep going despite our temporary times of defeat and despair. Everyday, it’ll take a huge amount of courage to keep going in the midst of unsuccessful attempts and a surmountable tenacity to fight against all odds. But we must.
Success isn’t always measured in status, money, or things – sometimes it’s measured in the quiet courage to try again another day.
The Four Agreements by don Miguel Rui are simple concepts yet profoundly effective. When applied to your life, it can be absolutely transformational. You will experience more peace, joy, love, strength, and energy. And you’ll soon realize that at any given moment you have the power to change the outcome of a situation, conversation, or feeling – simply by incorporating these four agreements into your mind, actions, or words. Once you make these agreements with yourself, they’ll become second nature to how you think, feel, and respond. For an in-depth look into The Four Agreements, you can pick up or download a copy of his book here.
Some people say ‘if you don’t use it, you lose it’. I’m not sure how true that statement is but I do know it’s good to challenge ourselves daily – to stimulate our mind, stretch our body, and search our soul. Try these 31 simple no brainers (there’s one for each day of the month). Have fun, engage, discover, and grow!
If someone is unhappy, they’re just unhappy. It’s not your job or responsibility to make them happy or to fix them. But neither should you take their feelings personally, be offended, or hurt by their behavior or words. This isn’t easy to do but you must remember that people are allowed their feelings and you are not responsible for it. If you’re going through this right now – you must stay positive, practice self-care, and fill yourself up with so much love that nothing can disturb your peace. Each new day, promise yourself this:
‘Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them. To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best. To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet. To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others. To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble. To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in a loud word, but in great deeds. To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.’ – Christian D. Larson
As you speak this light and truth into your life, may it become so.
Our lives may not be perfect and we might even be bogged with worry or stress. But no matter what’s going on in our lives right now, we can still choose to be happy at this very moment. Each new day is filled with possibilities, hope, and redemption for things that were lost, stolen, or broken in our lives. We might not be able to change our situation right away but we have the ability to change our demeanour instantly. Instead of walking in the light of the past or living in the reality of what is, we need to train our minds to walk in peace and joy in the midst of life’s storm. We can’t control others or change our circumstances but we can control our attitude and our reactions to them. Do yourself a favour – choose to be happy today.
With the holiday season upon us, it’s easy for us to say yes to every party invite and become a Martha Stewart and Santa to everyone we know. The holidays can be challenging as we feel the heaviness of unspoken expectations and unrealistic demands that are placed on us. When we do things out of obligation we’ll feel resentful, tired, and angry – we’ll feel as though our time is not our own and we’re losing control of it. One of the ways we can bring joy and peace back into the holidays is by being intentional with our time – this may mean making decisions based on love rather than out of duty, learning to say no without feeling guilty, and learning to do less. May we master the art of living intentionally everyday.
This quote is profoundly truthful. Pain will change us more than success or good fortune will ever. And if you’re in the midst of trekking life’s uphill battle – then I wish for you courage and determination to face each day. And when you come out of it, you’ll be wiser and stronger.