People’s little imperfections is what makes them uniquely beautiful. I love how this short video conveys this message. It’s a great reminder for us this week, to accept and embrace people’s imperfections in the light of the big picture. Have a Beautiful Imperfect week.
Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
– Steve Jobs
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear;our presence automatically liberates others.
Be who you were born to be. Accept, embrace and love who you are; your personality, your looks, your voice and all the quirks that make you you. Know you’re ‘enough’, you don’t need to add, change or push. There’s no one in the world like you, so proudly shine your light because the world needs you today, and everyday.
It’s February 14th and the woman has high unspoken hopes that her man will make this day very, very special. She anticipates either a romantic getaway or a fine dining experience or perhaps a long awaited engagement ring. But when he fails to meet her expectations, she becomes sorely disappointed and deeply hurt. She assumes he does not love or cherish her. She tries to persuade him that if he did what he was supposed to do, she wouldn’t be feeling this way. She finally lashes out at him in rage and anger because she feels unloved, unheard, misunderstood or all of the above. This special night soon turns into an ugly battle of accusations. Of course this is just a hypothetical scenario but I’m sure it happens to some couples every year. Unmet expectations.
How many times do we set ourselves up for misery and loneliness when we have unmet expectations? We want things to be a certain way or people to behave in a certain way and when they don’t live up to our expectations, we begin to blame, criticize, compare, make assumptions, hold grudges, or play the victim – driving the wedge deeper into our pain and in between the relationship. Expectations can be unrealistic because unconsciously we’re asking people to be perfect. And no one is. And it can also, be self-centered because it focus’ on our needs and wants. And if unmet, our reaction can be selfish and destructive because we’re more concerned about what we didn’t get, at the expense of harmony.
We cannot rely on others to fulfill our hopes and dreams, and deceive ourselves that they will make us happy. It’s a vicious trap that will only lead to strife and much pain for us and involuntary for the other person. Expectations may rise from a deeper issue: Do you love me? Do you respect me? Am I important to you? Am I priority in your thoughts and in your life? The next time you feel an expectation creeping up, step back and ask yourself these questions. If you start the conversation from there, it’ll save you a lot of pain and heartache. Love never demands but requests. But you’ll have to accept the fact that the answer may sometimes be a “No.”
Always remember whenever we set expectations, we set people up for failure and we set ourselves up for disappointment.
© 2012 Susie Lee
“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect – you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break – her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”
-Bob Marley On How To Love A Woman
“It is love that fashions us into the fullness of our being-not our look, not our work, not our wants, not our achievements, not our parents, not our status, not our dreams. These are all the fodder and the filler, the navigating fuels of our lives; but it is love: who we love, how we love, why we love and that we love which ultimately shapes us.”
-Daphne Rose Kingma
Love unconditionally. Always.
We do not see things as they are
we see things as we are.
The mind manifests itself by looks and words.
For the soul is our dwelling place,
our eyes are its windows and our lips its messengers.
Your mind will be like its habitual thoughts,
for the soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.
Happiness is not something ready made.
It comes from your own actions.
-The 14th Dalai Lama
This week, feed your mind with healthy, nutritious, and powerful thoughts.
It will increase your energy, put you in a good mood and combat stress.
It’s been said that struggles in life build character but I’m slowly learning it actually reveals character. Especially after watching these three trailer documentaries: Undefeated, This is Not a Film, and The Island President. It inspires us to believe in ourselves, hope against the odds and know that people do not define us. You can preview these trailers on http://trailers.apple.com/
We’re capable of so much more than we ‘think’, especially under pressure, confinement or survival. Yet this strength is not rooted in our hands or the weapons we use but rather rooted in our minds. It is where will power and impossibilities are created. Our mind is the springboard that motivates us, triggers solutions, stimulates creativity and instills hope.
Overtime, what you think about constantly will grow within you, whether they are positive or negative. Those thoughts will create feelings of joy or unhappiness. And eventually move us into action or inaction. And so this cycle begins, from the outflow of thoughts come feelings, and from feelings come actions. We slowly become what we think: Optimistic or pessimistic, happy or depressed, grateful or ungrateful, loving or bitter and the list goes on.
But there’s hope because we can break this cycle anytime. We have a choice in every thought, in every feeling and in every action. We are responsible. We can never really blame anyone for how we feel, for where we’re at, or what we do (or don’t do). At any given moment you always have a choice and it all comes down to your attitude. Will you stay angry or forgive? Blame or take responsibility? Complain or be the solution? You must start with yourself. Pointing your finger at others even if you’re ‘right’ or have the best intentions will not change them or the situation. Starting with you will be the first step towards your happiness, sanity and future. Remember whatever you’re not changing, you’re choosing.
Mind over matter application : :
We can’t control how others treat us but we have a choice in how we react to them.
We are not upset by what people say. We are upset by what we make it mean.
The body manifests what the mind harbors. Think positive thoughts.
Your positive or negative choices will affect the other person.
Give people the benefit of the doubt. Think the best of them.
Focus on people’s strength rather than their weaknesses.
Choose for your communication to be effective.
Others are as you think they are.
You are what you think you are.
Encourage rather than criticize.
Accept it or change it.
Let love lead you.
© 2012 Susie Lee
Recommended Reading : :
The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale
The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins
As a Man Thinketh by James Allen
“When you give someone a book, you don’t give him just paper, ink, and glue.
You give him the possibility of a whole new life.”