Periods of growth are painful, yet necessary.

Some periods of growth can be very painful, yet necessary – just like the growing pains we experienced in our bodies as kids. But the growing pains we now go through as adults aren’t physical but rather emotional, mental, or spiritual. Our transformations usually come through painful life changing experiences that shape our circumstance, mould our behaviour, or shift our paradigm. And in turn, they’re suppose to shed light into who we are and transform us into the person we need to become for our journey. May we grow stronger, wiser, and more compassionate through our growth spurts.

©2015 Susie LeeIMG_3845

My Musings for Today

Don’t do it, don’t do it – don’t second-guess or doubt yourself. Better to take risks than to do nothing at all. Move forward with confidence but take things in strides. Know your worth then surround yourself with people who know it too. Take risks. Have the courage to express the voice within. Work with people who you like and respect. Don’t say yes when you really want to say no. Stop being a people pleaser. Never compromise your values, beliefs, and convictions. Put love before work. Always work on your craft. Find a hobby in the midst of pursuing your dreams. Forgive yourself and others. Lessons learned, no regrets. Foster gratitude everyday. Instead of making assumptions, ask for clarification. Make time for people, especially those who could use a helping hand. Fill your heart with so much love that there’s no room for hatred. If you’re unhappy with some part of your life, change it. Don’t complain. Never ever put yourself down in thought, word, or deed. Replace pride with humility. Be generous with your time, money, and resources because you can’t take it with you once you’re dead. Invest in people through kindness, gentleness, and patience. Always be hopeful, joyful, and thankful.

©2015 Susie Lee

Reasons Why People Give Up

This is a great info graph on why people give up – whether it’s fulfilling their dreams, maintaining a healthy body, or taking risks. I’m pretty sure we can identify with a few of these reasons at some point in our lives. Of course, it’s much easier to identify these issues rather than to deal with them directly. But in order to move forward in life we must remove these mental stumbling blocks we’ve created for ourselves. Remember, victory and defeat will always start in our minds. So it’s important to think the best of ourselves, maintain a positive outlook in life, and have a heart of gratitude as we look to the future. This’ll make all the difference as we pursue our dreams and create the life we want to live.

©2015 Susie Leewhy people give up

A brush with death fosters thankfulness.

This weekend I had a bit of a scare as my dad collapsed in front of me. Since then I’ve been replaying the scenario of what I could’ve and should’ve have done, kicking myself for not having enough sense to pick up on the warning signs, and haunted by ‘if only I had done this and that’ then he wouldn’t have fallen. Unfortunately, this way of thinking can torment us with regret, guilt, and grief. And in the days to come, we may be tempted to overcompensate, control, and protect our loved ones based on fear. The fact is I did what I could under the circumstances I was in without knowing my dad would’ve collapsed. Although he had a brush with death, he seems to be doing okay today. It was a sobering reminder that we can’t completely protect our loved ones from harm – all we can really do is be thankful that we have another day with them.

©2015 Susie Lee

10 Tips for a Happy Relationship

Here are 10 simple tips that can transform any relationship, not just marriages. If you’re happy at home, chances are you’ll be happier in life and more successful at work. But unfortunately, the pressures, demands, and expectations of everyday can rob you of the joy, love, and peace that you desire in your relationship. So continue to do the little things as they’ll make a big difference down the road, make a conscious choice each day to love them despite your lack of feelings, and never grow tired of showing them how much you care. May these tips bring you closer and stronger together for a brighter and happier future.

©2015 Susie Lee

Don’t suffer needlessly, take responsibility. 

IMG_2192We don’t have to suffer needlessly with anger, resentment, or sadness in our lives. We have the power to change our feelings at any given moment. One of the ways we can change our feelings is to take responsibility for it. When we begin to take ownership of our feelings; we’ll stop blaming people for how they’re making us feel, we’ll stop taking offence to their behaviour, and we’ll stop fighting for what they’re not giving to us. Blaming others for how we feel will only bring us heartache, sadness, and pain. This sheer act of taking ownership of our feelings will quickly transform our lives, strengthen our relationships, and alter our attitudes. It’ll also give us a peace of mind, security within, and open doors to communication and growth. May strength, grace, and wisdom guide you in this journey.

©2015 Susie Lee

Be brave through life’s battle.

IMG_2047Today, I’ve finally accepted the fact that life isn’t going to be perfect – relationships won’t look happily ever after, best intentions won’t always turn out for the best, life won’t be all figured out, and mistakes will repeat itself. There’s no quick fix or an easy band-aid solution to life’s problems. Sometimes they go away but most times they come back disguised in different forms. Life is both beautiful and painful.

We need to understand that there’ll be some great days and some not so great days. And that’s okay. Instead of trying to get rid of, numb, or ignore our pain, it would be wise to embrace the lessons it wants to bring to us. I know it’ll be painful, even to the point of death. But maybe, just maybe, new life will emerge from the ashes of death – the kind of life that can’t be killed by human hands or life’s circumstance. Be brave through life’s battle; it’s okay to stumble along the way just do your best, be true to who you are, and never give up – there’s beauty waiting for you right around the corner.

©2015 Susie Lee

How to remove stumbling blocks from living your best.

JRR tolkien

Living your best will change from day to day. It doesn’t mean having it all together or being happy all the time – it means doing your best under the circumstances that you’re in. Here are some ways I remove stumbling blocks from living my best. By no means is this an exhaustive list but it’s a start…

  • Don’t hold onto grudges – it’ll only damage you and hold you back from fully living and loving.
  • Work on building your character – keep your word, show up, and work hard.
  • Be kind. Always.
  • Stop being a people pleaser.
  • Work hard and mind your own business.
  • Don’t run away from pain but learn from it – it’ll make you stronger, wiser, and build character.
  • Dream big and follow your heart.
  • Don’t let anyone define you, especially your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife.
  • When you say ‘yes’ to someone, make sure you’re not saying ‘no’ to yourself.
  • Get to know and love yourself – embrace imperfections & brokenness because there’s beauty in those places.
  • Discover the world, especially the world within you.
  • Learn to love those who are difficult to love, this alone will either make you or break you.
  • Have hope, faith, and love.
  • Always believe the best, say the best, and think the best.
  • Don’t compare your chapter 1 with someone else’s chapter 20.
  • Always do your best even when no one’s watching.
  • Don’t settle when it comes to dating – you’re worth the best.
  • Learn to forgive others but especially yourself.
  • Having a good attitude will make all the difference in the world.
  • A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You won’t be able to go anywhere until you change it.
  • Life always offers you a second chance, it’s called tomorrow.
  • Loving is the hardest and the best thing we can do.
  • You can’t start the next chapter in your life, if you keep re-reading the last one. Let go & move on without regrets.
  • You can’t move on to the next chapter of your life, if you keep re-reading the last chapter.
  • Stay humble.
  • Never stop learning.
  • Be thankful everyday.
  • And it’s okay to not be okay. You don’t have to be happy and have it all together all the time. Let that emotion sit with you.
  • Remember that your struggle is just part of your story. And one day, your story will inspire someone else.
  • Lastly, do more of what makes you awesome!

What are some ways you live your best? I’d love to be inspired in hearing from you!

©2013 Susie Lee

Letting go is hard but…

Letting go is hard

Sometimes in order to move on, we need to let go of people (or things) in our lives. Occasionally, we have to let go for the sake of the other person so they can carry on with theirs. I’ve found letting go is hard but holding on is even harder. This painful process will tear your heart out and you’ll experience you’re not the same again. Life has a funny way of shaping us through our experiences, people and circumstances. Allow it to change you and reveal the next path before you.

Overtime, the act of letting go will restore your soul, re-balance your life and release your spirit. And the heart-strings that once used to tug so tight are now set free. So throw yourself into the wind and let go. Fall into the arms of emptiness and see what catches you. Close your eyes, walk away and take only the beautiful memories with you. Yes, your heart will ache, long and be desolate but ride out the wave of emotions and see where it carries you.

Trust that life will work out. Have faith that the days ahead of you will look brighter. And have the courage to face a new day. Open your palms and let go… and then wait to see what lands in your hands.

©2013 Susie Lee

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Loving Without Condoning Poor Behavior

It’s Saturday and you wake up to a beautiful sunny morning.  You’re looking forward to an unplanned day filled with endless possibilities.  You’re happy and rested.  Suddenly out of left field you’re smacked with a curve ball on the side of your head with a rant of accusations by a frustrated loved one.  All before stepping out of bed.

A few weeks ago, I wrote an article on Acceptance | One of the Hardest Things to Do.  And I asked myself ‘Where do you draw the line between accepting the person without condoning their ‘off the handle’ behavior?’  Accepting them for who they are does not mean you have to agree with their behavior.  In fact, tough love will require you to have the courage to confront.  The key factor to confrontation is that your intentions need to come from a place of love and the well being for that person rather than from a place of anger or spite.  And even with your best intentions, it may still be received with defensiveness, anger, resistance, or withdrawal.

It’s natural for us to protect ourselves and take the path of the least resistant and remain silent.  But overtime, your inner fuming and staying bitter towards them will harm you.  Never make the assumption they’ll pick up on your silent cues and magically put the pieces together, or that they’ll feel remorseful for their actions and take the first step towards reconciliation.  They’re not mind readers, they can see you’re upset but they won’t necessarily know why you’re upset.  Plus they’re still probably upset themselves and wondering why you haven’t figured it out.  This will only create more distance between the both of you and at this point, become a battle of wills.  So take the initiative to clearly and objectively communicate what you’re seeing, experiencing and feeling.

It’s also good to keep in mind, that people’s frustrations usually stem out of their own personal issues, inner hurts or past woundings.  So it’s not you, your actions or words that necessarily trigger them but a hurt, resentment, bitterness that might already be within their hearts.  But if they’re not aware of this, they’ll think it’s you and blame you for how they’re feeling.  With this in mind, it’s easier to be patient with them as you walk beside them in their journey.

Since these hurricane days come when you least expect it, it’s emotionally difficult to brace for it.  Loving the person without condoning their poor behavior is very hard to practice.  But it’s possible with compassion, courage, love and truth.  After all you’ve said and done, ultimately it’s up to them to choose what they want to do with it.  My hope is that they’ll see the love behind your words, take responsibility for their feelings and move toward healthy steps for improvement.

© 2012 Susie Lee