Tag Archives: Life

Proactively Being Happy

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Sometimes, the harsh realities of life can weigh us down with doubt, confusion, depression, and anxiety.  Overtime, these patterns of thoughts and feelings will have a negative impact on our health and well-being.  To combat this, I want to give you 10 simple steps that will transform your outlook in life.

1.     Count your blessings. Name 3 things that went well today.
2.     Consider what you have. List 3 things that you appreciate about your life.
3.     Express thanks.  Write a letter to someone who made an impact on your life.
4.     Play to your strengths.  List your top 3 strengths.
5.     Make love count.  Set aside time to spend with your partner.
6.     Look on the bright side. Write a story about your ‘best future self.’
7.     Find meaning in your work.  List 3 reasons you feel passionate about your work, or how your work contributes to the greater good.
8.     Do a good deed. Practice acts of kindness to those you care about as well as to strangers.
9.     Make positive connections. Smile at someone you pass on the street or in the elevator.
10.  Do what you love. When you do something you enjoy, you will naturally drift into a satisfying ‘sense of flow.’

Take your time with this list.  I encourage you to focus on one or two of these steps of a day.  And work your way through all of them over the next few weeks.  After you’ve completed the list, repeat the steps, cycling it over again in the coming months.  Eventually, your positive outlook will become second nature as you see the brighter side of things, in people and in life.  It’s not to say the dark realities will vanish from our lives but we’re choosing to see the better side of things, which puts it into perspective.  Here’s to a happier you and a brighter world.

© Susie Lee 2012

To insure good health:  eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life.
– William Londen

*10 Steps to a Happier Life was written by Michele Cohen Marill (From Pink Magazine 2008)

Quotes of the Week | Words to Live By

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The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.
– Marcel Pagnol

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.
– Will Rogers

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
– Anonymous

You are not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations,
nor should you feel the world must live up to yours.
– F Perl

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.
– Harvey Fierstein

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
– John Wooden

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love,
and let it come in.
– Morrie Schwartz

Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you turn your attention to other things, It comes and sits softly on your shoulder.
– Henry David Thoreau

It’s impossible” said pride.
“It’s risky” said experience.
“It’s pointless” said reason.
“Give it a try” whispered the heart.
– Anonymous

Your task is not to seek love, but to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
– Rumi

Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect.
It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.
-Anonymous

10 Habits of a Happy Couple

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As life gets busier, sometimes it’s easy for couples to unconsciously let their relationships slip to the wayside.  But it’s possible to keep it strong even in the midst of busyness.  Here are 10 simple ways:

  1. Talk
  2. Date
  3. Spend time apart
  4. Let small things slide
  5. Touch
  6. Fight fair
  7. Stay intimate
  8. Say thank you (and please)
  9. Keep it surprising
  10. Make the effort

It’s helpful to write these down where you can see them; post-it on your computer, fridge, bathroom mirror, dining room table, kitchen sink – somewhere where you’ll see it as a daily reminder.  Of course, this is in no way an exhaustive list but it’s a simple and practical list that will get you back on track towards intimacy.

Have fun and enjoy each other. Always. Love and laugh lots.

© 2012 Susie Lee

*10 simple ways were taken from Today’s Parent February 2006.
To read the full article:  click here

Quotes of the Week | Do Something

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It is never too late to be what you might have been.
– George Eliot

All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.
– Walt Disney

Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon ‘em.
– William Shakespeare

Don’t go through life, grow through life.
– Eric Butterworth

In any situation, the best thing you can do is the right thing; the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing; the worst thing you can do is nothing.
– Theodore Roosevelt

Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.
– Charles F. Kettering

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
– Mark Twain

There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.
– Dr. Denis Waitley

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
– John Wooden

Relationships Make Life Colorful

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plants

In my home, I have a number of houseplants scattered throughout the windowsills, floor, tables and stands.  I love having them around because they bring life and color into a room.  But they take work.  Every few days, I check to see if the soil needs water.  Every few weeks, I give them plant food.  And every few years, I transfer them into a bigger pot.  Over time, I’ve learned my plants have preferences, some like to be in direct sunlight and others like to be in shade.  I’ve also found they tend to flourish in health and strength when I talk to them sweetly… so I talk to my plants often.

Just like houseplants, relationships bring life and color into our lives.  But it takes work.  We need to put physical time, emotional energy and mental capacity into it.  Without this effort, our relationships resemble an artificial plant – fake and lifeless.

Usually when people are dissatisfied with their relationships they may use the term the grass is greener on the other side.  The ‘other’ side being happier, fulfilling and abundant.  But I believe if they channel that energy in maintaining their own lawn, it would be just as vibrant and green too.  But I understand that sometimes, it’s easier to compare and complain rather than put the work into it.

Every relationship takes a lot of work, sacrifice and love.  Strong, healthy, long lasting couples and friendships don’t just magically ‘happen,’ they take time to cultivate and flourish.  Here are a few ways to build your relationship:

Commitment
Make right choices despite how you feel
Accept them without trying to change them
Be there through the ups and downs – good times and bad
Choose to love them especially when the feelings aren’t there

Communication
Talk, listen and engage actively
Be honest with them even though it’s hard
Patiently figure out the heart of the issue in conversations
Accept and understand the other person’s point of view

Connection
Have fun together
Have common interests
Make time for each other in person, by phone or by computer
Physical, emotional, spiritual, psychological, or intellectual connection

Caring
Honor them by accepting who are
Celebrate the things that matter to them
Look out for their best interest and well-being
Meet spoken and unspoken needs (emotionally or practically)

Relationships are like investments that will grow over time.  And the return will be substantial as it will nourish our souls and enrich our lives.  It’s the connection we make with another soul that draws us deeper mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

May your days be richer and fuller because of the colorful relationships that bring life, love and joy to you.  And in turn, may you paint a colorful canvas on someone else’s life.

© 2012 Susie Lee

Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.
-William James

Quotes of the Week | Love

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Every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says,
‘Make me feel important.’ If you can do that, you’ll be a success not only in business,
but in life as well.

-Mary Kay Ash

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.
-Mother Teresa

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.
Without them humanity cannot survive.
-Dalai Lama

Love will find a way.
Indifference will find an excuse.

-Ukrainian proverb

Disappointments | Re-evaluate & Re-create

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At some point in our lives, it’s inevitable we’ll face disappointments. It might be with our career, relationships (or a lack of), health or the world at large.  The good news is that disappointments come whenever we attempt to do anything great in our lives or for the world.  The not so good news is that it’s closely followed by resistance, doubt, cynicism, or setbacks in the pursuit of that greatness.

Why this gloomy topic?  Because I know some of us are in this journey right now.  Disappointments will often crush determination with hopelessness, despair and “what’s the use?”  Our minds and bodies will begin to shut down with weariness.  I find when I’m in this place; it helps to step away from my efforts and rest.  In the meantime, I connect with my family and friends for encouragement – drawing strength and wisdom from them.  I, also, read books, get out in nature, watch movies and listen to songs that will inspire me, as it fills me up with love, light and life. After a period of time, I have the newfound energy to help me move forward with clarity, courage and creativity.

But I understand this overwhelming feeling of despair might be a heavy burden for some people to carry that they may decide to throw in the towel.  For others, this feeling of despair may become a catalyst to grow stronger and wiser – fueling their passion, energy, and creativity.  They can choose to remain in despair or see the undercurrent of hope.  For many people, this is where the rubber meets the road.

My message to you is don’t give up on your convictions.  Disappointments are a part of the journey; it’s a sign that you’re closer to success than when you first started.  You’re an amazing being who is highly adaptable and strong-willed.  When the weight of the world is crushing you – there’s still more inside of you.  You can never be completely crushed unless you allow it.  Continue to explore, discover, create and dream of a better world… and a better you.

© 2012 Susie Lee

*This article is dedicated to my aquaterra tv co-host Peter Ormesher

Quotes ::
Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment,
put your head down and plow ahead.
– Les Brown

Enthusiasm is followed by disappointment and even depression,
and then by renewed enthusiasm.
– Murray Gell-Mann

Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal;
it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.
– Eliza Tabor

One’s best success comes after their greatest disappointments.
– Henry Ward Beecher

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire;
the size of your dream;and how you handle disappointment along the way.
– Robert Kiyosaki

Video of the Week: Beautifully Imperfect

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People’s little imperfections is what makes them uniquely beautiful.  I love how this short video conveys this message.  It’s a great reminder for us this week, to accept and embrace people’s imperfections in the light of the big picture.  Have a Beautiful Imperfect week.

Quotes of the Week: Be Who You Were Born To Be

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 Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
– Steve Jobs

 Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear;our presence automatically liberates others.
-Marianne Williiamson

Be who you were born to be. Accept, embrace and love who you are; your personality, your looks, your voice and all the quirks that make you you. Know you’re ‘enough’, you don’t need to add, change or push. There’s no one in the world like you, so proudly shine your light because the world needs you today, and everyday.
-Susie Lee

Unmet Expectations

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It’s February 14th and the woman has high unspoken hopes that her man will make this day very, very special.  She anticipates either a romantic getaway or a fine dining experience or perhaps a long awaited engagement ring.  But when he fails to meet her expectations, she becomes sorely disappointed and deeply hurt.  She assumes he does not love or cherish her.  She tries to persuade him that if he did what he was supposed to do, she wouldn’t be feeling this way.  She finally lashes out at him in rage and anger because she feels unloved, unheard, misunderstood or all of the above.  This special night soon turns into an ugly battle of accusations.  Of course this is just a hypothetical scenario but I’m sure it happens to some couples every year.  Unmet expectations.

How many times do we set ourselves up for misery and loneliness when we have unmet expectations?  We want things to be a certain way or people to behave in a certain way and when they don’t live up to our expectations, we begin to blame, criticize, compare, make assumptions, hold grudges, or play the victim – driving the wedge deeper into our pain and in between the relationship.  Expectations can be unrealistic because unconsciously we’re asking people to be perfect.  And no one is.  And it can also, be self-centered because it focus’ on our needs and wants.  And if unmet, our reaction can be selfish and destructive because we’re more concerned about what we didn’t get, at the expense of harmony.

We cannot rely on others to fulfill our hopes and dreams, and deceive ourselves that they will make us happy.  It’s a vicious trap that will only lead to strife and much pain for us and involuntary for the other person.  Expectations may rise from a deeper issue:  Do you love me?  Do you respect me?  Am I important to you?  Am I priority in your thoughts and in your life?  The next time you feel an expectation creeping up, step back and ask yourself these questions.  If you start the conversation from there, it’ll save you a lot of pain and heartache.  Love never demands but requests.  But you’ll have to accept the fact that the answer may sometimes be a “No.”

Always remember whenever we set expectations, we set people up for failure and we set ourselves up for disappointment.

© 2012 Susie Lee